How well does your family handle conflict?
A few weeks ago we had a funny, yet thought provoking experience with our 5 year old son, Jared.
Jare was in Primary at church, and he was being picked at by another young Latter-day Saint that Jared likes to call "the mean boy". Now this little guy isn't malicious in the least sense, he is simply a very bright, energetic 6 year old that likes to find creative activities while there's downtime at Church. Jared has been his recent favorite "creative project", and has endured it well.
This particular Sunday, Jared's classmate, in an effort to alleviate his boredom, was enthusiastically seeking a reaction. At the end of his limit, Jared thoughtfully and calmly pushed, or I could almost say "moved" the boy off of his chair, took the chair the boy had been sitting on and placed it on top of his own. Now Jared is sitting on two chairs while enjoying "Singing Time" in his Primary class. Jared's classmate was pleased that he got a reaction, so he came back and pulled up another chair next to Jared, looking for a further diversion. After further provocation, Jared looked over, moved the boy off his new chair, and took the second chair. He stacked the newly acquired chair atop of the two he already had and sat down. By the end of Primary, Jared was sitting on four chairs and "the mean boy" was sitting on the last remaining chair at the far end of their classes' row. Subsequently, this little one has not bothered Jared again.
Besides being seriously funny, I was pleased to see that Jared did not react in a violent way toward his classmate. He quietly contemplated independent solutions and came up with one that seemed like it would work for him, unusual thought it was. His "push" was only enough to move the problem child far enough away from him to accomplish the plan and finally, he endured the situation, sticking with his plan, until the problem was solved. Jare is really a thinker- he figures square roots in his head, at the age of five, for fun, and this has caused me to wonder, how does your family handle conflict?
I pay close attention to how my children work in group settings. They have all been homeschooled, and coming from a large family, we assumed they acquired the needed sociality through their siblings. Jared's response pleased me. He handled himself in a thoughtful, non violent, independent manner, consistent with his level of knowledge. What happens in your family?
Jare was in Primary at church, and he was being picked at by another young Latter-day Saint that Jared likes to call "the mean boy". Now this little guy isn't malicious in the least sense, he is simply a very bright, energetic 6 year old that likes to find creative activities while there's downtime at Church. Jared has been his recent favorite "creative project", and has endured it well.
This particular Sunday, Jared's classmate, in an effort to alleviate his boredom, was enthusiastically seeking a reaction. At the end of his limit, Jared thoughtfully and calmly pushed, or I could almost say "moved" the boy off of his chair, took the chair the boy had been sitting on and placed it on top of his own. Now Jared is sitting on two chairs while enjoying "Singing Time" in his Primary class. Jared's classmate was pleased that he got a reaction, so he came back and pulled up another chair next to Jared, looking for a further diversion. After further provocation, Jared looked over, moved the boy off his new chair, and took the second chair. He stacked the newly acquired chair atop of the two he already had and sat down. By the end of Primary, Jared was sitting on four chairs and "the mean boy" was sitting on the last remaining chair at the far end of their classes' row. Subsequently, this little one has not bothered Jared again.
Besides being seriously funny, I was pleased to see that Jared did not react in a violent way toward his classmate. He quietly contemplated independent solutions and came up with one that seemed like it would work for him, unusual thought it was. His "push" was only enough to move the problem child far enough away from him to accomplish the plan and finally, he endured the situation, sticking with his plan, until the problem was solved. Jare is really a thinker- he figures square roots in his head, at the age of five, for fun, and this has caused me to wonder, how does your family handle conflict?
I pay close attention to how my children work in group settings. They have all been homeschooled, and coming from a large family, we assumed they acquired the needed sociality through their siblings. Jared's response pleased me. He handled himself in a thoughtful, non violent, independent manner, consistent with his level of knowledge. What happens in your family?
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